Finding Rest
I mentioned in my Lockdown post that unbusying life and prioritising rest were two of the things that I want to focus on. To unpack that a bit…
I’ve had a love-hate relationship with busyness all my life. With an Achiever personality type, I have an inbuilt need to feel like I am valuable, which for me has [insert historically] translated into putting a lot of pressure on myself, taking on way more than I should, measuring success by my accomplishments and placing far too much importance on what others think of me. This has proven hugely problematic when anxiety and depression come in to play…
I am on a continuing journey of changing what I believe success looks like, learning to say NO to things, and placing value on things that really matter. It doesn’t come naturally to me though, and if I’m not super careful, I very easily get sucked into the “stuff” and allow it all to overwhelm me.
On that note, I thought I’d share something that I wrote after going on The Heart Journey Retreat (I’ll share more about that in a separate post):
Trapped between the panic and the desperate need for peace.
My soul cries for rest and green meadows, but the chaos and clutter keep me in bondage. Choking me.
My breath is shallow as I’m consumed by life. Everything urgent. Everything needing my attention. Now!
What about time for the things that really matter? For God, for my calling, for my family. For me?
I breathe a big, heavy sigh, longing for relief to come. Longing for simplicity. For peace. For contentment. An empty schedule but a full heart.
But peace comes in the midst of the busyness, like the calm in the eye of the storm. Pull in closer to Him and be untouched by the chaos around. Rest is a condition of the heart and connection is the key to finding it.
I will pursue that above all else. I am valuable and worth it and God cares more about the state of my heart than my achievements.
I can breathe easy now – lifted up, reminded, encouraged, and loved.
I am not trapped.