Decisions, Decisions
Buying presents and choosing something off of a menu are possibly two of the most anxiety-inducing decisions for me (sheesh, talk about #firstworldproblems!). Even choosing presents for my kid’s friends is stressful – will they like it, do they have siblings and if so would they play with it together, will they like that colour, will it break, what will their parents think of it, which is most value for money, is there perhaps a better option??
Upon introspection (which I do a LOT of), it’s easy to see that a lot of the overthinking, the “what if’s” and the doubting is rooted in fear. And if fear exists in these small, insignificant decisions, how much more so when it comes to buying a house, making a career move and other big life decisions that will likely set the course for the rest of your life and have an impact on your family and beyond.
I’m faced with one of these big decisions at the moment. One that may seem like an absolute no-brainer to some, but isn’t actually as cut and dry as it seems. We all face challenges differently and make decisions according to how we’re wired. For me, it’s a process and I’ve been flexing my decision-making muscle hard of late! I thought I’d share part of my process in case it helps you. (If you’re one of the carefree, “go with the flow” types you will probably think I’m crazy!)
Weigh things up
Make a list of the pros and cons of the options you’re presented with. Be as detailed as possible. Even if it seems silly, it’s good to see it on paper. Which option looks more positive when you look at it this way? Look at this list carefully. You might see that the pros and cons are often linked and will ether cancel each other out – this helps with perspective too. Then sift through which of these are legitimate, which are actually lies or things based in fear, and what is just fluff that doesn’t really matter.
Look at the bigger picture
Write down your overall thoughts, feelings and question marks. What would the ideal situation be? Consider the non-negotiables, your passions and how the options line up with those. It’s often from here that you can both refine your “wish list” and uncover overarching fears and values that you may not have been aware of.
Phone a friend
While you can’t (and shouldn’t) rely on the convictions and thoughts of others to make a decision for you, it IS good to lean in to those you trust the most, for their support and input. It could be a mentor, a close family-member, your closest friends or a second opinion from someone in the industry if relevant (e.g. a real-estate agent if it has to do with buying a house).
Some disclaimers here:
- Do your own thought process first – your voice and (most importantly for me) God’s voice needs to be louder than theirs.
- Only include people that you trust implicitly and who you know have your best interests at heart.
- If you’re inviting these people in to help you wrestle with a decision, you must be willing to let them hold you accountable for what happens once you’ve made it.
Find peace
After all is said and done, I have found PEACE to be the single most powerful sign that you’re making the right decision. If something isn’t right, you’ll know. In “Christianese” we call it “a check in your spirit” – a warning that something is off and God trying to get your attention.
For me – when I’ve considered all the options, asked for other’s input, submitted the decision to the Lord and found peace, excitement follows and I can move forward into a decision knowing that God’s got me, no matter what.
What other tools do you use? Please add them in the comments.