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Tag: Lockdown

Leave it to the professionals

Leave it to the professionals

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I LOVE being able to go and pick some veggies and herbs from my garden. It’s the closest to being a hippie I get – that and the bare feet I’ve been donning for the past month. I’m also not bad at cutting my 3 boys’ hair, as long as I can use clippers and they sit still! Cutting my own though? Na, I think that’s best left to the professionals, as are some other things I’ve come to notice during lockdown…

All things pretty

Between the botched hair attempts I’ve seen, including these, and friends gluing their “hoohaa” to the sink while waxing (I have no idea how), all I’ll say is “Proceed with caution!”. Some say that beauty therapists should be added to the list of essential services for this very reason.

I’m pretty low maintenance so fortunately I’m not affected at all, but I do feel for the MANY women who will soon be unrecognisable. As an aside… Maybe it’s time to embrace natural beauty a bit more anyway? To be real and comfortable in our own skin instead of the fake lashes, fake nails, fake tight skin and fake plumped lips that so many have come to rely on? Just a thought…

Our daily bread

I’ve been limiting my shopping trips to every two weeks during lockdown which has meant that I’ve had to make my own bread or rolls in between. Now, one of my favourite things is the smell of fresh bread, and enjoying it while it’s still warm. I kid you not, when I was pregnant I would go to the shop, buy a loaf of “Ouma se brood” and start eating it straight away, breaking off chunks as I go. I didn’t even care about the looks that I got. Now I at least wait until I get to the car.

It just doesn’t seem to be the same at home though. I’ve tried 3 different bread roll recipes and I cannot get them to smell as good, taste as good or be as fluffy as they are in the shops. I am very clearly not a baker (I flopped crunchies the other day!) but here are 3 things that I’ve learnt in this process:

  • When the recipe says “beat for 5 minutes” they mean with a dough hook attachment, NOT a normal beater. Oops!
  • It’s important to read the recipe properly. There’s a difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon, especially when they’re talking about quantities of yeast…
  • I am genuinely terrified of the amount of preservatives that must be in the pre-packed bread and rolls that we usually buy that make them stay fresh for as long as they do. I’ll still buy them because it’s just SO much easier and more sustainable – and cheaper too, I’m convinced.
My rolls
The best batch I’ve managed so far

On the money

My goodness – the amount of time that I’ve spent trying to figure out what the heck I am doing with my business accounts, PAYE, UIF and all the rest of it. There is good reason why people pay good money to get good people to do this stuff for them – and I WISH I could at this point! Hopefully I’ll have more luck today.

I’m not even going to TALK about teaching now, except to say that I thank God for them, I don’t know how they do it, and I will NEVER complain about school holidays ever again! Now please make this homeschooling thing stop. Please!

Which professionals are you most grateful for? I’d love to hear about your thoughts and experiments in the comments.

Finding Rest

Finding Rest

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I mentioned in my Lockdown post that unbusying life and prioritising rest were two of the things that I want to focus on. To unpack that a bit…

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with busyness all my life. With an Achiever personality type, I have an inbuilt need to feel like I am valuable, which for me has [insert historically] translated into putting a lot of pressure on myself, taking on way more than I should, measuring success by my accomplishments and placing far too much importance on what others think of me. This has proven hugely problematic when anxiety and depression come in to play…

I am on a continuing journey of changing what I believe success looks like, learning to say NO to things, and placing value on things that really matter. It doesn’t come naturally to me though, and if I’m not super careful, I very easily get sucked into the “stuff” and allow it all to overwhelm me.

On that note, I thought I’d share something that I wrote after going on The Heart Journey Retreat (I’ll share more about that in a separate post):

Trapped between the panic and the desperate need for peace.

My soul cries for rest and green meadows, but the chaos and clutter keep me in bondage. Choking me.

My breath is shallow as I’m consumed by life. Everything urgent. Everything needing my attention. Now!

What about time for the things that really matter? For God, for my calling, for my family. For me?

I breathe a big, heavy sigh, longing for relief to come. Longing for simplicity. For peace. For contentment. An empty schedule but a full heart.

But peace comes in the midst of the busyness, like the calm in the eye of the storm. Pull in closer to Him and be untouched by the chaos around. Rest is a condition of the heart and connection is the key to finding it.

I will pursue that above all else. I am valuable and worth it and God cares more about the state of my heart than my achievements.

I can breathe easy now – lifted up, reminded, encouraged, and loved.

I am not trapped.

Lockdown Lookout

Lockdown Lookout

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We’re halfway through the (initial) 21-day lockdown and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I know that A LOT has been said about Covid-19 and how to best manage lockdown, but my heart is not settled on this topic just yet, so bear with me as I process my thoughts…

I’ve been feeling incredibly conflicted and confused: uneasy, unsure, and anxious, yet hopeful and excited about the changes that are taking place across the globe because of Covid-19. I feel pressure to not let this major, once-in-a-lifetime event to go by without making the most of it. But what does that look like? Should that be performance-based in terms of productivity? How important is what I sow into my kids over time? I’m not great at navigating the unknown – we all are.

On the work front, I am concerned about income because my upcoming projects were cancelled, put on hold or clients are unable to pay me because their own cash flow is problematic at this time. I’m struggling to find new business because marketing budgets are frozen and many companies are battling to pay their own employees, let alone hire an external resource such as myself. I’m finding it hard to balance the feeling that I need to be DOING more to try find an income VS being OK to use the spare time to do other things that are good for me and my family. Can I fully trust that it will all be OK and that we’ll make it through somehow?

On the kids front, I desire to be the kind of mom who does creative activities with her kids, comes up with clever games to keep them stimulated and teaches them well. But if I’m honest, I actually just don’t have the mental, physical or emotional capacity for that. While I am being mindful of keeping things balanced and allowing time for free play, structured play, baking and gardening, chores, learning time and screen time (yes, they do watch TV and play video games – judge me if you will), I’m not being super strict or intentional about it. I mean, they are still learning and child-led play is important, so I think that’s OK? That said, I realise that I’m missing out on wonderful opportunities to expose them to more and make lockdown exciting for them. Ugh, I’m torn. Am I just being lazy and making excuses?

On the home front, there are a great many cupboards that need to be sorted, furniture that needs to be restored and a garage that needs serious attention. I just don’t feel like doing it. Any of it. I’m spending most of my time doing general housework (cleaning, laundry, dishes etc), making food and snacks, “managing” the boys and spending some time with them, doing admin, and fitting in some time for me – for exercise, hobbies and rest. The making time for me thing is a biggie… I know how important self-care is but I can’t help but feel guilty every time. I feel like I’m being selfish and that the time should could be better spent on the kids or getting to the long list of things that need to be done around the house. Is it just me, or can you relate?   

On the socio-economic front, I feel deep concern for those who are not fortunate to live in a comfortable, safe house, those who have no income, those who are lonely at the best of times. Those whose desperation and hopelessness may want to tempt them into suicide over the months to come. BUT more is being done for the poor and vulnerable than I’ve experienced before and that gives me hope! The homeless are being looked after in shelters, food and groceries are being provided for those who need it, kindness and generosity are replacing segregation and judgement. The playing fields are being levelled a bit and that’s good, as hard as it is.

On the faith front, lockdown has definitely provided opportunity to get closer to God and I’m very grateful for that. I usually tend to get caught up in the busyness of my days and lose focus and connection, so the change in pace and rhythm is very welcome. More than anything, I’ve had to dig deep to try cancel out the immense Coronavirus-induced fear that I was feeling and actively choose to believe that God’s got this! We’ve been speaking about the concept of the Sabbath quite a bit this year in our church circles and as a family. It’s a principal that was put in place for good reason – we need rest, we need connection, we need to take time out to shift our gaze. But how do you realistically fit that in between the kids parties, work commitments, housework and social time that usually fills our weekends? I’d say that this lockdown period has “forced” the Sabbath concept to an extent and I believe it’s something that we’ll prioritise post-lockdown.

So what’s my conclusion???

Here’s what I do know… I want to use lockdown as an opportunity to re-evaluate our lives. To look at what’s important. To declutter and unbusy our schedules. To truly find what anchors us. To consider the outlook of our lives – that which is in our control vs that which isn’t…

Other than that, I want to [insert not only] stay sane [insert but grow in maturity] and make sure that our family is happy and looked after. I’ll count anything that I manage to achieve over and above that as a bonus. And that will just have to be [insert is] enough!